Stop games playing

The games playing doesn’t means literally don’t play games. My term here is more of the physcological side of playing games. Often people tends to play games with people their wished to woo or their partners. They sit around thinking, if he/she don’t message me, I don’t message him/her back, see who can last longer. I won’t call him today and see if he would call back? I will tell him/her I experience something extremely terrible, see will she go out with me? etc… All this sounds familiar? For most people, it surely does.

If you want to message somebody then just message, games playing are a dangerous thing to do. When you play games with others, it means it is okay for others to do it to you. What if while you are playing such physcological game with them and they are doing the same thing to you. Then will both of you forever don’t message each other?

Normally, we start to play games when the other party are not behaving the way we would like to. Games playing seems very harmless at first but actually it is a form of manipulation. When we really love someone we don’t manipulate them, we love them… When we love someone, we should just let them know honestly how we feel and the things the matters to us the most.

Be cruel to be kind

“Is better to say no than a don’t know”, this phrase is so true. Many times when people confessed to a person, they just replied a don’t know. Some change the question, some just simply act blur. They are just being plain cruel! If you can’t see yourself being together with some one, why don’t you just say no? The person will stuck at there and don’t know what to do, to move on or to stay and wait.

I know people enjoy the feeling of there is somebody out there loving them. Yeah you may enjoy it for now, but the person is gonna get deeper and when you decided to reject him once and for all, he will fall so deep and feel more pain. Or if you really like this person but because of so some issue, you just can’t be with this person just yet. Just tell him/her to wait, I think is possible for us to be together but I am really not ready now or something. If you are not direct, this person may leave, he/she do not know whether to stay or not to or are you trying to give him false hope.

You will regret it when you realised he/she is someone that you are looking for, someone that makes you feel special, makes you laugh heartily, someone that will be there for you when you need. It will be too late by then, the person may be gone from your world already. Yeah so people start being direct when people confessed to you. You are doing yourself a favour and doing your friend a favour.

Art of Changing People 潜移默化

Before I get into my post, I need to warn my readers this art is not to be misused. It is a tool that will affect people and my purpose for this post is let people aware of such things. Not literally teach someone to change people, UNLESS neccessary. And to be able to change someone, you need to have certain standard. Standard like pure, selfless, holy, extreme good, motivational, inspiring, people of experience, evil or sly person etc.  That applies to the saying, before you change someone, you got to change yourself.

It is not easy to change anyone and liking them for who they are, is always the better option. There are situation where it is really tough for people to like someone, and their haters are everywhere. Most of the times this people are quite lost, lost between knowing what is right and what is wrong, lost between what should be done and what should not be. These should be the times where the Art came in handy.

There are two types of changing, improving and getting unleash. I shall start with getting unleash 1st.

Getting Unleash: This is a insider term among my friends. It actually stands for changing from good to worst. I realise how to optimise this type of change only recently. I kept wondering how does someone extreme holy and nice change into someone bad. It took me quite long to figure out the answer to it. And I found the answer by looking into my own history. The way to change someone from good to bad is actually a very difficult thing to do, especially when they hold their principle high. To change them you need to slowly break their limits bit by bit. Each time their limits are break, they already start to change unknowingly. Some of the culture need to brought to them stealthily and when they realise it that time. It is often too late, it become natural to them.

Example: I used to be very on time or reached early for every gatherings, every meetings and everythings. There aren’t a single day that I am late, as I was taught to be punctual from young. However, being someone nice always got a price to pay. Each time I had to wait for my friends for very long and the longest I waited for them is 2hr 30mins alone! I get quite pissed off, and I tell myself I got to be smarted. So the next time I meet my friends, I always set off on the time that we intended to meet. And now this habit stuck to me where ever I go. Even for work! I still will be punctual for people who values time a lot and when I know they will be on time surely.

Improving: This art was taught to me naturally, I used to improve people without the needs to crack my head. I’ve gotten great harvest but also failures to maintain too. This change can be applied in two ways, cooperating and influencing.

-Cooperating : This can be achieve when the person you want to help are willing to change herself. It makes the job done easiler and more effectively. You can discuss with the person what are the ways that are useful to her, what areas she need to be improved etc. This is definitely the easiest methods but the commitment level you had to put in are high. You must be willing to help till the end and you its hard for you to stop halfway. In order to use this way of improving, the other party need to have his heart open up for you. And usually this can only be done if the person is your close friend.

-Influencing: This way occur only when the person do not want to cooperate with you or he/she is not close to you for you to use the cooperating method. To be able to use this methods you need to have high level of inspiring /motivating skills. Something that can wow people with your good nature. You need to be selfless and care for the person whenever you see him/her. You need to be prepare to loss some friends in order to help this person. You also need good charisma with people, this will convince the person you got substance in you. You also need to show that you are on good term with each and everyone. With all this, this will make the person want to be your good friend and most likely than not he will treat you very well and follow you everywhere you went. From there, you can slowing change the person.

However, if the person acknowledge you but do not treat you well, you need another methods, but I will not share it today because it is rather complicated and I am still experimenting on the technique. Good luck in changing someone you need to change and remember just 1 person do make a difference.

3 grades of mankind

This is one of my most well know logic, though it may sound funny or you may disagree with me but I am sure it do make sense. In my dictionary for logic, there are no rights or wrongs there are only it make sense or it don’t. If it make sense it is right and when it don’t it ain’t. My logic of 3 grades of mankind are categorised in this manner the lowest, middle and the highest grade.

The lowest grade: People that only think and think and think but accomplish nothing in the end. People in this category are most likely timid, unable to accept changes, do not want to step out of their comfort zone or are just simply lazy. What’s the point of thinking when you do nothing for what you plan to do? Thats why it is the lowest grade of human. I am sure everyone agree to this up till this point.

The middle grade: People that think carefully before they act. Many people would wonder why I categorise this under middle grade. Many people would believe this type of people to be ranked the highest, but I shall show you all otherwise. People in this category are mostly calm, patient, typical, scheming, sly or clever. Thinking before acting are wise. This helps to prevent falling to the traps of others, this helps us to ensure our decision is right. BUT many people who undergo the thinking process sometime or perhaps often fall to the lowest grade category. At first they already decide on what they must do, but after thinking, they start to feared. And when they had fear, they start to fall into a dilemma. In this dilemma, people usually tends to listen to what others think or will just reject what they plan to do initially. Of course many would argue this is situational but my personal opinion is it always happen.

The highest grade: People that do 1st, think later.  In theory, people in this category are, irrational, impatient, brave, courageous, heroic, impulsive. Action before thoughts, open up to more possibilities and helps to enhance creativity to solve aftermath of action. Why this is the highest grade? This is because, normally the things we want to do at first are our natural reaction. It is something we would do from the bottom of our hearts. If you are someone of greatness, those things are the things that are correct. Even if the action was a mistake, it had already been done and whatever steps after it will only creativity that get you out of troubles. This will increase experience too. So no matter how, you can’t fall to the lowest grade, because you had to think and act because you had cause yourself troubles. That is if you made a mistake from your initial action.

However people will start to question me, what if people ask you to smoke? What if people ask you to kill someone? Just smoke or kill someone? OF COURSE NOT! If you do not smoke, your natural reaction will be NO, and if you are someone righteous your initial answer will be NO too! But if we think before we act, we might fall into the traps of our “enemies” we might feel smoking ain’t bad under influence or the person should be kill. When people ask me those questions, I feel like asking them question too. What if you see your friend meeting an immediate danger while crossing the road? haha

Unworthy things in life

Previously on K’s notebook, I blogged about worthy things in life. Since I am too free today, I might as well complete the post. As last post was only half of what I wanted to blog about. On the 2nd half, it will be about the unworthy things in life.

I once thought everything in life was meaningless, because we will end up dying eventually. That is why I try means and ways to find the true meaning of living. I end up striving for superficial stuff, doing things that are dark. Yet I still return to the beginning point. Yeah I did a lot of unworthy things in search for something worth. The wages was huge but the gain wasn’t small either.

These are some things I think it’s unworthy:

-Being controlled by emotion

-Unbelieving

-Giving in to situation

-Being idle

-Endless wait

-Obsessions

Being controlled by emotion: This is a worst thing can happen in life. Most of the time when we are in such situation, we will always do something terribly wrong. I shall give some scenario to let you have a better illustration.

 1.When someone was drunk, they let their current emotion get the better of them. For some is anger and for some is sadness. When in the angry state of drunkards, people usually made grave mistake. They will fall beyond control and cause hurt to those they can’t see eye to eye with at that current moment. When in the sadness state of drunkards, people tend to say stuff that are kept inside their hearts for very long. Those that are said are usually those that shouldn’t be known to people. A secret should always be kept as a secret! And usually those things that are said causes strain in friendships.

2. When extreme anger gets the better of someone, people usually lost the ability to think. They just do something angry, something destructive in a spur moments. And this can led to death of people.

3. When sadness is filled in someone hearts, they will stop looking forward to the each day. And they will kept them trapped in a situation round and round again. The extreme case will even cut them to feel alive.

Unbelieving: This may not make sense to some but this is one of the major things in life that cause people to live unhappily. Yeah I know most of you would tell me, if you trust everyone you see, you would lose all your assets in a day. Of course you have to be shrewd and sensitive to people you feel might harm you. And if you are still afraid, you can choose not to trust people with your money. Because if you lost a million dollar just to trust someone, that is too much of an unworthy. However,we cannot keep living in fear that everyone in this world had their motives in doing something. This can led to madness, and 1 great example in history is Stalin. He was never once happy and even when he died; he still had his hands held so tightly to his gun.

Giving in to situation: There are no absolute in life and even if there is, it is death. But if you can overcome the fear of death in order to do something or broke free of something, you are bound to be something great! So no matter what we do we are going to die eventually, why give up when faces with obstacle?

When tough situation occurs, like bankrupt, broken r/s, fail all the exams, family fall apart etc, we should stand even stronger than before. And not give up totally in life. We only had 1 life and only had 1 chance, why not try to make it as best as we could? If you are bankrupt, you should try to get out of that status. Don’t tell me it is impossible because a lot of people did, Jaslyn Tay is a great example to learn from. If you fail all your exams, don’t give up in studies, just try your best next time round or retake it if it is a major examination like O’levels. We only can study for a few years and we will be out to work for the rest of our lives.

Being idle: By being idle means you are not doing the things you should.  If I say things like doing your homework, music practice, sports training, work etc, many of you would disagree with me. But if I put things this way it will makes a lot more sense.  Things like going out with your friends, giving up wooing someone that won’t love you back, moving out of the zone of losing your relationship, moving out of your comfort zone to receive something new. This is greatly unworthy if you do not do all these because you will just waste a lot of time and energy just to stay put on a spot that stinks.

Endless wait: If you know something ain’t happening, don’t just wait. Do something! If you fell deeply in love with someone, don’t just wait for that girl to approach you. If she does not accept you, do not wait for her forever. Because nothing last forever and eventually your love for her will be replace by someone. So is now or never thing, unless you 2 got great affinity. And if your businesses don’t earn a lot of money, quit waiting for VIP to walk by. Do something to attract them! Waiting for them to come by just like this is even harder than striking toto.

Obsessions: Obsession for people or things, can lead to many cases of misdeed. It often makes people turn off their logical thinking and try means and ways to get those things they obsessed with. E.g. O is obsessed with the newly innovated PS3, he tried to get his parents to buy but they refused. So he skipped his lunch daily to save his pocket money until he reach sufficient funds. But it took him too long to save using orthodox methods and the obsession could holds no longer. So he ended up stealing his parent’s cash.

These are what I thought to be unworthy. Yet again, if you all had anything to add just feel free to comment. If you all, agree or disagree, just leave a comment too. I love comment! XD I will stop my entry here and be sure to come back for more post that do not have an expiry date. =D

Worthy things in life

Hi! This will be my first post in wordpress and I am going to shared about a question that triggered my thoughts. It’s a question post by 1 of my friend in facebook. She asked what are the things that are worth in life and what are the things that are not? I took me quite awhile to find my answer and I am going to share it to every viewer here.

To this question every people had different answers to it. To some is friendship, to some is their relationship with their lovers, to some is their family, to some is games and most common answers is religion.  Before I got my answer, I had think thru about all this and I found that all those are important. However, there are still missing essence. This alone can’t make my life worth living.

So what are the points that can make my life worthy to live? Here you go:

-Relating to people

-Realizing desired achievements

-Entertainment

-Creation

-Growing up

-Contributing to others life

Relating to people: The amount of friends or even a complete family doesn’t make life worthy to live in. There isn’t a point in all this, if you had no connection with any of them. We need to had a bond and relationship with each and every of them.  We also should learn how to maintain it because relation with people fades overtime when we do nothing. I had a lot of friends that walk out of my life just because I did not maintain my friendship well enough with them. There isnt in any cases I did not regret and the longer you try to get back that friend the harder it gets. All this also can be apply to lovers, teachers, colleague and everyone you know.

Realizing desired achievements: Everyone had dreams, even the poorest of men. What can be more satisfying then realizing each of it? Having a goals in life is something worthy in life. It helps us to strife towards it and we had something to look forward to in life. Without this, life will just become a programe and make you do the same thing everyday.

Entertainment: This is a simple thing but yet it is very powerful and essential to our life. It helps to find joy, relieving stress, give you creativity and it could also be a tools for relating with others too. It could be use to challenge oneself or how you fair against others.

Creation: For me I want to make songs that I could call my own and for people I love. Doing so make some one unique and had something that is truely yours in this world. Though it may not be widely know, it still can bring great satisfaction. This could include writing, poems, drawing, music, dancing, invent stuff and making your own  business.

Growing up: Learning new things everyday, improving knowledge and ability to do things. Here goes a saying, “you cant considered yourself living life, if you had not do something new daily.”

Contributing to others life: 助人为快乐之本, being able to be there when someone is in need of your help can bring great joy. This may not make sense to many people but it is something important in life. Try being sacrificial of yourself to help others for a month and you would know why.

This is all that matters and I found it worthy for now, if you discover something more or disagree with any points here, feel free to comment =D